Optimism feels good and is associated with happiness and better health. It is the expectation of positive things happening.
On the other hand, you have pessimism, or anticipating what could go wrong. It often feels bad and can lead to depression, anxiety, and can even trigger a fight-or-flight response.
Is there a healthier middle ground?
Realism takes the focus off generating artificial optimism and points the focus towards seeing situations and the world realistically.
Creating a fantasy of opposite views that things are either horrible or fantastic is generally unhelpful. We filter out some of the good when we are pessimistic, and an optimistic mindset can ignore that bad things do indeed happen sometimes.
The key is to build confidence in yourself at being able to handle whatever comes your way whether it be positive or negative.
Growing tolerance for negative emotions is a skill. Most people want to avoid negative feelings. A pessimistic person focusing on what could go wrong creates anxiety in anticipation of feeling the negative emotion. Clearly, this can be counterproductive.
Instead, try showing a willingness to feel the feelings when they arise. This strengthens self-confidence over time.
Other ways to adapt to realism include:
- Practice Mindfulness: Remember to focus on the current moment. The future doesn’t exist yet except in our imagination. Notice what is here and now. “The sun is shining. The bird is singing. The air is warm.”
- Social Connection: Having a connection of supportive friends and family helps us weather life’s ups and downs.
- Find Meaning: Connecting to something that’s larger than you helps to move your focus beyond yourself. This is different for everyone. It can be spirituality/religion, volunteering for a cause, creating art, working on a project, or helping a friend. Find ways to be engaged in meaningful activities.
- Self-care: Prioritize your wellbeing by taking care of your mind and body. As you feel strong you feel more capable of handling what comes up. This includes accepting limitations.
Realism offers a balanced perspective that integrates the positive aspects of optimism while acknowledging the reality of potential challenges.
While this doesn’t mean rejecting positivity in all its forms, it does encourage a grounded approach that prepares us for both the highs and lows we experience each day.
Cultivating this balanced mindset helps us grow stronger and more adaptable, ultimately leading to a healthier and more fulfilling life.